As a girl, I never had dreams of how I'd look on my wedding day. I didn't fantasize about the style of my dress or consider the way I'd wear my hair. But when good friends began to float down the aisle in various get-ups ranging from the delightful to the divine, I started to gather ideas.

   The first friend I saw be married looked so stunning in her dress that when I saw her I began to cry. Sleek, straight and simple, the dress did little to distract from the elated expression on her face, whose brightness was cranked up so high it hurt to look.

   Another friend wore the same sort of dress. A no-frills, no-nonsense woman, she strode down the aisle with the kind of speed and purpose you'd have crossing a busy intersection. An elaborate dress would have held her back. I loved that quality in her.

   As someone who wouldn't entertain the thought of putting on a skirt for work, it seemed unlikely I'd wind up in a puffy-sleeved tutu on the big day. I wanted to be like these two friends of mine. Not dolled-up, just radiant. So when I finally earned rightful admittance to a bridal salon, I went for something straightforward.

   I fell for a couple beauties right away. Sophisticated sheaths, one with shear, capped sleeves and the other with a beaded band under the bust and a short, wispy train. They were comfortable and uncomplicated - white and ivory versions of every other party dress that ever took up minimal space in my closet.

   Within hours, I was ready to commit. But it was too easy, and trying on the dresses was so much fun.

   So I kept searching. My mother and I made more appointments. And somewhere in the whirl of silk and silliness, I began to experiment. I allowed a few floofy dresses into my dressing room, the kind with giant skirts buoyed by petticoats. Several were hilariously out-of-synch with my personality, and others belonged on a float. But something about the process changed my view of what might be right for me - not in a logical way but in a romantic one.

   Suddenly I discovered I wanted not a sensible dress but an exquisite gown. Perhaps I could be transformed - not permanently, but for one day.

   The dress I chose lands right in the middle of what I expected versus what I never dreamed, somehow speaking for the practical person I am and the extravagant one I'd like to be.

   Disappointed the search is over, I'm pleased to realize I now have the fantasy I didn't have before. And I can't wait for my next fitting.