The wallpaper on my laptop is a photograph of the cavernous island barn that in 10 quick weeks will be filled with catered food, white twinkle lights, rented evergreen trees to "define the space" and ferry-loads of my favorite people in the world. The photograph is a peek at the excitement to come, but also serves as an in-my-face reminder that it's time to focus on the tiny, but crucial, tasks on my looming to-do list.

   If I didn't lift a finger again until W-day, the whole thing would probably go off just fine and we'd have silver-topped salt-and-pepper shakers and grilled asparagus spears for dinner just as planned. But now's the time, I realize, that in order for me to be proud of our feat I need to get busy with my personal touches. That's the fun part.

   When I first got engaged, married friends couldn't help but pile on the advice, much of it conflicting: "Keep it small" and "Don't forget to invite anybody." "Hire a wedding coordinator" and "Plan the whole thing yourself." All the wise words bugged me then, but now that I've earned the right to dole some out myself . . . well, I don't mind if I do.

   Besides keeping everything in perspective and trying to stay relaxed, the most important thing to do when planning a wedding is to stop thinking there's plenty of time. Jake and I were smart to enjoy a month or two of stress-free, early-engagement bliss and then swing into high-gear organizational mode. We leaned on our mothers early for help and then arranged for all the big stuff: the location, florist, caterer, officiator, etc.

   Once those pieces are nailed down, it's easier to enjoy the little decisions and projects that make the celebration personal. For us, this means careful attention to details like the readings at the ceremony, a handmade invitation and a creative welcome package for out-of-towners. That's an advantage of a lengthy engagement - the ability to spend time making the experience original for you and your guests. Most people will forget about the flowers and the food, but they will likely remember a unique touch driven by the bride and groom's personality.

   Besides, with one shot to have all your friends and family together to celebrate in the name of your love, it's gracious to give them something extra as a way of saying thanks. It takes some advance planning and a burst of adrenaline in the home stretch, but when W-day arrives you'll know you put in not just your money, time and energy, but your signature too.