The last time I attended a party in my honor was somewhere around my eleventh or twelfth birthday, long enough ago I can only remember eating hamburgers and unwrapping plastic earrings in the living room. No one will ever accuse me of vying for the center of attention, or even enjoying it. So I was appreciative, but a little nervous, when Jake and I accepted invitations to two engagement parties, one given by each side of the family.

   One party was dinner in Kansas City and the other was cocktails in New York. At both I had too little to eat and at one I had too much to drink. There were sweet toasts, fancy appetizers and neatly wrapped gifts to open at the end. Both were beautiful blurs, punctuated by quick conversations with long-lost friends and small talk with people I'd never met.

   I've learned a few things from these parties, things I already knew but needed to be driven home in time for W-Day. First, never underestimate the power of a new outfit - and buy it ahead of time. The assumption is that the bride will take the extra effort to look the part, so she might as well go for it. I left the task of finding the right thing to wear to my engagement parties to the last minute, and it added heaps of unwanted anxiety.

   Second, I may be the belle of the ball, but the world doesn't screech to a halt to accommodate me just because I've caught the big fish. Friends and family may have to miss a wedding-related event and it doesn't mean they don't care. I just have to remind them to be front and center come actual wedding time.

   And finally, emotions (namely mine) are on heightened alert the closer I get to June. Small slights are devastating and thoughtful words seem like fantastic gestures of generosity. Mood swings may be part of the territory, but it's key to remind myself that the idea through all this is to have a grand time.

   Still, I think all the attention I'm getting might be doing some real damage. As I've been fretting about monumental worries like what color shoes the bridesmaids will be wearing and what to pack for our honeymoon, I've started to slip in other areas. I've forgotten to return phone calls, follow through with promises and even wish my mother a happy birthday. I just hope that by this time next year I'll have slipped back graciously into obscurity with all my important relationships intact.

   Until then, I just need to step back, take a breath and try hard to remember every last moment of celebration. It goes so fast and thank god, it only happens once.