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October 2002 This better be something. by Valerie Carino ...    Damien and I have this inside joke, "What will we possibly talk about after the wedding?" It's been dominating our lives for 17 months. It's the only subject people constantly question us about - before the weather, before our health, before... "How's your sex life lately?"    If I had the dough, I would easily book the next plane out to Miami Beach to chill out for a few days and to get one of those deep stone massages I've been reading about. To have a pina colada on Ocean Drive at an outdoor café next to a pink and mint hotel. Just to breathe.    With only a week left before the trip, I'm weighed down by all there's left to do and to buy. Gifts for his parents. Gifts for his new niece or nephew, who, as of two days ago, was not born yet but should be arriving today or tomorrow. A proper bustier. Phone calls to all the bridesmaids, groomsmen and out-of-town guests who'll need rides from the airport.    I can't say it's been a breezy process - especially for me, the doomsday girl. (I keep having visions that Damien will see the wedding dress when I go through airport security. Hell if I'm going to check the dress as part of my baggage.) I need to work on that. Being more positive. Smiling more. Remembering that this is my day, queen of tulle, organza and French manicured-nails.    Damien is getting giddier by the day. I can only imagine what it must be like for him, his first trip home in five years. How overwhelming to see every single relative you ever knew, every single long lost friend, on your wedding day.    "They're all lunatics," his sister Denise told me over the phone two weeks ago. "And they're all coming to the wedding."    It must be strange, I must say, to be the "groom" in all of this. To be detached, aside from a few fashion details, from the place and most of the people we've hired to coordinate Croom's wedding of a century. Most women might not relinquish such control.    At the same time, it's been refreshing to see Damien so excited and so involved - from the wording of the invitations to the wedding menu, right from the start.    Perhaps I'll take charge of our 50th anniversary party. Another destination party. Picture it: hibiscus flowers, sarongs, tiki torches, BBQ and a midnight swim.    For now, though, it's off to Croom, Co. Limerick. Ireland.    This better be something.    Or what will we have to talk about?