General Tips and Advice [ Submit a Tip and/or Advice | Beauty & Health Index | Tips & Advice Index ]

Relax Submitted by: M. E-S. of Seymour, Illinois I have been married for seven wonderful years, and have also worked as a bridal consultant. The one piece of advice I would say is not to expect everything to go perfect. Just relax and enjoy your day, if you're happy with the day you have created then that is all that matters. Your wedding is just one special day, with your husband you'll create many more that are as equal if not more special then your wedding day.

Just Say "I Do" Submitted by: G. Reiss of Urbana, Illinois Say "I DO"! Everything else is secondary!!

Speaking from Experience Submitted by: Allison of Lake Luzerne I have two pieces of advice, and believe me, I am speaking from experience!! I have been in a whirlwind of planning for my wedding and learned a couple things very quickly.    Number one: You don't need a wedding consultant if you get organized!! Make a notebook with dividers, zipper pockets, and loose-leaf paper. Keep every scrap of paper, jot down notes, and file away business cards and receipts from every place you visit or buy from. If you keep this information handy and in order, it will save your money (on having to hire a consultant) and time (and your sanity!!) I always thought buying an expensive planner would be a waste of time, and I was right! I have done everything myself, using my home-made planner, and everything went smoothly.    Read, read, read. In the beginning it is a great idea to buy all those bridal magazines, as well as drop by your local book-store and spend an afternoon reading wedding books and materials. Take notes about what you like and hope to have. If you buy the magazines, tear out pictures of things you like, dresses you think are pretty, cake decorations you covet, etc; but always jot down what issue and page number you tore out for future reference! Most of these books and magazines provide detailed schedules/lists of everything you need to have and plan for to make your wedding a success. Utilize these lists, follow them, keep up on them, and you won't be running around on your big day trying to do last minute things you have forgotten. The schedules are written by people who have been where you are, so take advantage of their experiences. Number two: Know when to quit. Once you know what you like, stop reading, stop buying magazines, and go with what you know. Continuing to read and re-read information and ideas will only cloud your judgement and lead to a lot of wasted time, money, and frustration. Your home-made organizer should be your only reading material because by this time you should have accumulated all the pictures, ideas, business cards, fabric swatches, etc that are necessary to make your wedding what you want it to be.    Knowing when to quit can also mean knowing when to take a break. If you have been running around planning all week, then it is time to take a day to do absolutely NOTHING wedding related! If you keep going and going and going nonstop, you will burn out and begin to resent your wedding rather than enjoying and looking forward to it. Monday through Friday planning means a Saturday in the bath or watching TV or whatever you do to have fun, relax, and take you mind off of the work you have done all week.    Follow these two rules and you will be a much happier bride-to-be. Good luck and God Bless!

Take It Day by Day Submitted by: L. C. from Toronto, Ontario, Canada One good item to remember: Take each task/item day by day. Do not try and complete everything at once. If you try to get everything out of the way as early as possible, you miss all the monthly excitement and challenges. Enjoy the day it only happens once, it is a day to cherish. If you are not ready to take this step, don't do it....feel prepared and confident about your decisions it makes a world of difference. Have fun.

Pre-marital Counseling Submitted by: Kathy of Burlington, North Carolina Pre-marital counseling was the best part about our engagement. It helped keep things in perspective, provided important "alone" time with my fiancé and allowed us to learn things about each other we hadn't yet discovered. If pre-marital counseling isn't an option for you, I highly suggest you meet with a couple that has been married for quite some time. Take them out to dinner and let them tell you how they've made their marriage work over the years, the troubles they've faced and how they overcame obstacles. It's an eye-opening experience and will bring you and your fiancé closer together. It will open doors to discussions you hadn't had before but NEED to have. It also helps you put things back into perspective. When you start obsessing over the little details, remember that the wedding is just ONE day, but your marriage is forever. Your wedding is a party -- don't waste all your energy concentrating on making it perfect. Concentrate on making your marriage work.

Respect Each Other Submitted by: Kay N. of Houston, Texas Treat each other with equal respect. If you say, "I do", MEAN IT. Keep into each other and be each other's best friend because it is the only way that it will work. Be faithful to yourself and you will be true to your committment.

Have a Long Engagement Submitted by: Jennifer of New Braunfels, TX Have a long engagement! The more time you have to plan your special day, the more rewarding it will be to tackle tasks one at a time and not rush through the process. Each month during the 6 months I have been engaged, I have taken one part of the wedding (ie-flowers) and worked on it. It has given me time to be creative and make good decisions. This time in your life should be fun, not stressful! Good luck!

Postpone Honeymoon For a Day Submitted by: Dominianni My husband and I took a day in between the wedding and the honeymoon. This is something I highly suggest. It gives you the opportunity to get your head, finances and honeymoon attire together. Let's face it — you have so much to worry about prior to the wedding. Most of my friends left for their honeymoon the morning after the wedding and they say that is the one thing they regret.

Consider Photo Opportunities Before The Wedding Ceremony Submitted by: Tracy Y. of Kennesaw, Georgia It has long been a tradition that it is bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress before the wedding. Because of that tradition, I was rather shocked when my photographer suggested that my husband and I have pictures taken the day before the wedding in addition to our wedding day. I threw superstition out the window and we did it. Some of our best pictures were taken the day before our wedding. We were relaxed and we laughed and had a great time together. I think it actually helped me relax more on my wedding day as well. I knew we already had some good pictures, and we had more time to have fun with family and friends. My husband and I think it was the best thing we did with our wedding planning.

Consider Hiring a Wedding Consultant Submitted by: Linda T. of Wheeling, West Virginia I did all the planning for our outdoor wedding and prepared ALL the decorations including making the topiaries, floral archways, etc. I was so stressed out by the time my special day came, that every time I watch the video the first thing I think of is how tired I was. Hire a consultant. The money you spend for her will balance out to all the running around you'll do. Her knowledge will save you money. She knows the little tricks and shortcuts. Also, don't rely on good quality pictures from the disposable cameras. You WILL be dissapointed in most cases.

"Sun to Sun" Submitted by: Marcela of Monterrey, Mexico I got married last November 1999 and made a sun to sun scheduled on THE DAY. All was included there (time to wake up, shower, beauty parlor's appointment, church, snacks, airport and even the time to travel from a place to another). This helped me and my husband a lot to be on time on ALL that was needed to be done. Because we had spare time in-between activities, we even had time to pick up forgotten things.

General Tips Submitted by: Mercedes of San Antonio, Texas, USA We just got married 3 weeks ago. Tips for wedding day that we used: Take the marriage license and wedding rings to the rehearsal and see if the officiant will store them until the wedding day. These are two less things not to have to worry about forgetting. Have someone make you sandwiches that you and your new spouse can eat in the car while driving from the ceremony to the reception site. YOU WILL NOT EAT DURING THE RECEPTION - too many people will keep asking to take your picture. Don't obsess. Something will not go as planned, but people will either not notice or will sympathize with you. Enjoy your wedding and laugh stuff off. Best wishes!

General Tips #2 Submitted by: Brooke of Lee's Summit, Minnesota, USA I really tried to put alot of extra thought into planning my wedding ceremony, as I wanted people to remember it for being unique for years to come. The following are some suggestions of the things I did that I still recieve nice comments about or others have since used in thier own weddings.(I hope this will be of help to someone) 1. At the "seating of the parents" I had my mother light my end of the unity candle and my husbands mother light his end of the unity candle as a symbolization of the gift of life they had given each of us and the miracle of the love we had both found. It was very touching to watch and is somthing both mothers cherish. (we also made sure to print what it symbolized in the program so everyone would understand) 2. My husband and I had agreed prior to the wedding that we both did not want a receiving line, so instead we decided to ask the pastor to ask all the guests after the ceremony was over to remain seated. My husband and I then ushered each row of guests out of the chapel personally so that we could have the opportunity to make sure we greeted everyone in atttendance.The guests loved it and it also made the time pass by quicker being able to watch all the other guests before them.

Scent of a Woman or Man Submitted by: Cathy B. of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, USA To add something new and sentimental to your wedding day, try a new fragrance! This new scent will remind you of your spouse from this day forward! Very romantic and fun, but make sure you test the fragrance on your skin prior to your wedding day to see how it reacts on you. This is something for both the bride and groom.

The Help of a Wedding Coordinator Submitted by: Laura W. of Chesapeake A wedding consultant's job is not to take over your wedding or to control your decisions. A wedding consultant's job is to give advice and to save you money by offering inexpensive alternative and discounted wedding vendors. The consultant's connection to the wedding industry can get you the best price. If you are a bride that has the time to plan you might only need a wedding day coordinator. In the end, you will be so thankful. You can't even imagine how many things can go wrong and having put so much energy into planning this wonderful event you have imagined everything going smoothly. Your friends and family, no matter how well intentioned they are, are not equipped in dealing with major catastrophes! As the bride, you deserve to sit back and relax that day! Worrying about whether the caterer has run out of food, or that the limo has not shown up should be the farthest from your mind! Do yourself a favor and hire a wedding consultant, whether it is for full planning or only for the day of the wedding! You will not regret it!

Helpful Tips Submitted by: Terri of Honolulu, Hawaii, USA 1. Be very specific about what will be said during vows. Leave not a word to chance, because it's too important. 2. Have a backup plan for weather/transportation 3. Have a bridesmaid in charge of checking/primping you before major photo sessions! (all night!) 4. Have a photo taken with each of your bridesmaids alone; they make great gifts. 5. Get everything filmed; get as much coverage as you can afford! It's a one-time chance! 6. Allow extra time so things can run a little late without ruining everything!

Potpourri of Advice Submitted by: Amanda of Knightdale, North Carolina, USA As I began planning my wedding there were a lot of things I learned. 1. READ, READ, AND READ some more. You'll gather some really good ideas. 2. Remember, this is your wedding, and it should be everything you want! 3. Keep in mind, it is only 1 day. A very important day, but just 1 day, out of many days in your life. 5. Take all the time you need. I started planning my wedding a year and a half prior. We got engaged in March, and of course, I immediately wanted to do everything. So I did the basics. I did some research, interviewed a few photographers, and even bought my dress. Then, I took several months off, and did nothing related to the wedding. Now I'm starting up again, and it's made it so much less stressful (I can't afford a coordinator, so I'm doing it all myself). It's been really helpful because I already have everything picked out, and I know exactly what I want, where to get it, and how much it cost. Trust me it helps. 6. Enjoy! Enjoy yourself, take your friends with you, make it fun, not a job! 7. Shop around. You wouldn't believe how much you can save. I bought my wedding dress in a consignment shop! Somewhere I'd never even dreamed of looking. I'm not lucky enough to be a size 7 and be able to just walk in and find any dress I want in just the right size, it's hard to find a plus size dress. I'm a full 18, so I wanted the full gown to go with my full figure. And I found the gown of my dreams, never been worn, and I only paid $400.00, and I was able to finance it! I looked in so many bridal stores and found similar dresses for $1,000+. So it does pay to shop around. And don't rush. If you don't find what your looking for don't worry. Keep looking, don't overwhelm yourself, if you look at too many at one time, they'll start to all look the same! 8. If you need some more advice or helpful hints, email me: TWFMommy19@msn.com 9. Happy shopping/planning!

Seeing the Bride Before the Wedding Submitted by: Joanna of Montgomery, Alabama, USA As a wedding photographer, I think couples are steered into the wrong direction by superstitions like "not seeing each other before the ceremony." Many of our couples select a reception venue which is separate from the church. Choosing not to see each other causes everyone to be in a "tizzy" after the ceremony. The entire wedding party, plus all family members, must wait until the church is cleared and then take their photographs. During this time, your guests are wondering where you are. Many people do not realize that the tradition of not seeing each other was established in a period of "mail-order brides". The bride would not be presented until the ceremony because there was less chance of her being rejected at the altar. Before photographs begin, we like to privately present our brides to their groom. We photograph his first glimpse of her and then give them minutes alone together. We have never had a bride express regret with this decision. Most of the time, we hear that this time relieved a bit of the stress and tension. Some of the most treasured photographs are made of the bride and groom together. Why would anyone want to jeopardize those?

Ceremony and Reception at the same Venue Submitted by: Mary V. of Saginaw To save money on flowers and other decorations, consider having you reception and ceremony in the same facilities. Not only will your guests save from having to commute from site to site, you only have to decorate once.

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