Jewish Wedding Customs by Heather Camlot

"...with increases in intermarriage and shifts in religious devotion, ancestral traditions are being reinterpreted for modern times."

   Some wedding traditions, like clinking champagne glasses, were born of superstition. Others, such as the honeymoon, of hedonism. Then there are those that stem from ancient cultural and religious beliefs.

   In Judaism, such customs include breaking a wine glass and standing under the huppah. But with increases in intermarriage and shifts in religious devotion, ancestral traditions are being reinterpreted for modern times. "Sometimes we make up a new, contemporary meaning that honors the joining of the two traditions and that has significance in our urban society," says Eva Goldfinger, a Secular Humanistic Jewish clergy in Toronto. "The origins of most rituals lay in dim antiquity. As society advances or changes, the reasons change. They have been doing so for thousands of years."

   Here, a look at Jewish wedding customs and some of their meanings.

Ketubah: First appearing around the first century C.E., this legal document outlined the rights and obligations of husband and wife to each other during marriage and in the case of divorce. Though still signed before the ceremony, a ketubah is no longer a binding contract, but rather a spiritual decree expressing a couple's commitment.

Huppah: The wedding canopy was conceived as the place the husband and bride would consummate their marriage. Created by suspending a talit — prayer shawl — or a decorative cloth from four poles, the huppah has come to symbolize the couple's new home, with the open sides welcoming friends and family, as Abraham had, and the talit reminding all of the presence of God.

Kiddush: The blessing over the wine is repeated twice during the ceremony, once on its own and then with the seven blessings. Added to the ceremony in the sixth century, the two cups represented the sanctification of the betrothal and the marriage. The cup of wine is referred to as the cup of life. The sweetness of the wine symbolizes the sweetness wished upon the couple, while sharing the cup of wine represents sharing whatever the future holds, whether bitter or sweet.

Seven blessings: When the Talmud, or Jewish codes, was written around 500 C.E., it included six of the seven blessings (the one for wine was added later). Seven represents the number of days God took to create and complete the world, and, by extension, the completion of individuals as they unite in marriage. Ironically, only two of the traditional blessings mention the bride and groom. Today, some couples replace the religious verses with seven phrases honoring friends, family and individuality, among others.

Breaking of the glass: The most familiar of all Jewish customs represents the destruction of the Temple in 70 C.E. Modern interpretations include the fragility of human relationships, the beginning of a new life and the dismissal of prejudice and ignorance.

Yichud: Literally meaning union, yichud was the time a couple spent together immediately after the ceremony to consummate the marriage. Today, the couple retreat to a private room to share their thoughts on the preceding events, and then join their guests at the reception.

   Depending on how religious the couple is, other customs may be considered. The mikveh is a ritual bath before the wedding in which the bride and the groom immerse themselves two to three times in moving water, signifying the shift from single life to couplehood. The bedeken, or veiling ceremony, stems from the biblical story of Jacob marrying the wrong woman because he did not see the bride's face before the ceremony. Finally, the wife circling the groom seven times served to protect the couple from evil. Today, both the bride and the groom may circle each other one to three times as a sign of respect and, as the mystics claim, to enter the seven spheres of each other's soul.

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