Respect and Cooperation Key to Interfaith Wedding Ceremoniesby Donna Lee Nardo

   The union of differing religious faiths in marriage is as common today as the melding of any two individual personalities committed to becoming one. Yet, although interfaith coupling actually surged in the past decade, many priests and rabbis refuse to officiate at mixed weddings because of orthodox views and a concern for the declining roster of devout Christians and Jews. Interfaith ministers such as Reverend Ellyn Kravette fill this gap by working with couples who may not subscribe to the dogma of any one religion, but still want to affirm their spirituality with religious ceremonies.

   In her work helping clients mold traditional elements of different religions into single harmonious ceremonies, Kravette keeps the focus on "connection, not separation." She says the key to successful interfaith weddings — and beyond that, to successful lives together — is respect for,and tolerance of, the varying religious views and traditions among couples and their families.

   A good tip for interfaith couples trying to accommodate more orthodox family members is to include the most important elements of each religion in the ceremony. Having family members participate in the wedding is also important in promoting involvement and cooperation.

   For example, Kravette, who heads the Pennsylvania-based Church of the Divine Consciousness, cites a recent ceremony she officiated between a Jewish woman from New York and a Southern Baptist which contained traditional elements of both faiths. It was topped off by a recital of the closing blessing done in tandem by the fathers of the bride and groom, with the bride's father reciting his part in Hebrew. Since both Jewish and Christian traditions recognize the final blessing, it was a perfect touch symbolizing the merging of both faiths. It also highlights the emphasis on connections and similarities rather than on separation and differences which Kravette maintains is crucial to interfaith marriages.

   Like many interfaith ministers, Kravette designs weddings that are flexible and meet many different needs. It is not unusual for her to work alongside priests and rabbis at interfaith weddings. While Judeo-Christian marriages are quite common, Kravette says the number of Muslim intermarriages is also rising. But even in marriages between members of different sects under the same religious umbrella, there are departures in traditions that demand respect and tolerance on the part of those involved.

   "One God, so many different faces," says Kravette, summing up the one genuine similarity and difference among the faiths as well as the creative challenge that interfaith practitioners like Kravette love to tackle. Where can you find an interfaith minister in your area? Visit the Association of Interfaith Ministers' (AIM) web site listed below. AIM, a non-profit professional organization of interfaith ministers and clergy, operates a referral service for couples who would like to contact members in their local area.

SOURCES:

Reverand Ellyn Kravette, Member, Association of Interfaith Ministers
Church of the Divine Consciousness
P.O. Box 401
Tannersville, PA 18372
(800) 969-4340
www.spiritualsearch.org

Association of Interfaith Ministers
www.interfaithclergy.org