The Best Man: The Groom's "Number 1" by Cheryl Gabiola Galvez

   Back in the prehistoric ages and up to the 13th century, it was customary for the groom to capture his bride. To assist him in this deed, the groom would need to enlist his strongest and most loyal friend. The groom needed his "best man." Fortunately, things have changed in today's world whereby the only thing the groom has to capture is the bride's heart. But the groom's best man, who may not necessarily be the strongest but surely the most loyal friend or family, continues to stand by his side.

   There exists many a web site dedicated to the bride and her female entourage. Even the guys at the insightful online magazine, UnGroom'd, have created a resource solely dedicated to the bridegroom. But surely there must exist a site that outlines and discusses the myriad of duties and responsibilities assigned to the groom's best man. There is. Not surprisingly, it is called TheBestMan.Com. TheBestMan.Com takes an insightful and humorous look into the most-honored and important role of the bridegroom's entourage.

   Our editor-in-chief, Cheryl Gabiola Galvez, recently spoke with the founder of TheBestMan.Com and former best man, Scott Miller, to learn a few things about this all-too-important role.

	At what specific moment of joy, or trauma, did you decide a web site entirely dedicated to the groom's "number 1" would be ideal?
	And the groom's "number 1" is a great way to put it because many of the wedding party duties fall to the best man. It's more than just throwing a bachelor party. Although that's what initially drove the effort. Last summer I returned to work after a floating bachelor party — a houseboat and fishing weekend. It was a good time, but could have used some fine tuning. That Monday, my two buddies and I scoured the web for any advice on bachelor parties or for a best man. We came up with little, and later that week registered www.TheBestMan.com. Before the site went live, we had a place holder which read, "You're the Best Man. Suddenly you're faced with responsibilities you've never had before. Relax. We're (almost) here to help." That's what it's all about — a one-stop repository of bachelor and best man information in a very swanky wrapper.
	What are some of the traditional responsibilities of the best man?
	Traditionally, a best man was someone you brought to a duel with you, a squire, an aide du camp. He would help make sure that the duel was a fair fight, carry your pistols, dress wounds, or notify family of your ill fate. Who wouldn't want a guy like that around? We don't anticipate a big resurgence in dueling. The duties of today's best man are much more civil. But the spirit is similar. He's a man of good character and discretion who can be counted on. He can offer help on everything from planning the wedding's guest list to decorating the getaway car. How much involvement is really up to the bride and groom. The point is that he can be relied upon. Generally, he acts as witness to the signing of the marriage certificate, organizes the groomsmen in getting fitted for their tuxedos, helps the groom get dressed for the wedding, gives a sincere toast to the bride and groom at the reception, and then there's the little matter of planning and throwing a bachelor party.
	In your opinion, what are the top two responsibilities of the best man?
	The two most daunting tasks test the mettle of the best man — but also reward his cunning. Delivering the toast and delivering the bachelor party are at the top of his agenda, and both feats must be accomplished while working without a net. It's no surprise to us then that most of the inquiries we receive at TheBestMan.com revolve around those two subjects. And the efforts are similar in the respect that the best man must perform a balancing act to keep everyone happy. Delivering a toast which shows respect to the parents but also entertains the younger crowd, while maintaining composure in front of a large audience, is not impossible — but requires cunning and preparation. The same can be said of the bachelor party, where the best man must deliver to the groom and his crew, but not upset the bride with his antics.
	For many, the obligatory "Best Man's Toast" seems a daunting task. They can't seem to find the right words to say. Do you have any tips or suggestions for the best man to overcome his or her writer's block?
	And it is writer's block, isn't it? Most people will stand up to give a toast without ever having written anything down on paper. Not that one should read a toast, never read a toast, but planning is key. A best man giving an outstanding toast will be remembered fondly. Even if he has flubbed some other duty, if he gives a good toast, all is forgiven. A toast is like a short subject article, a "mini-skirt" report, short enough to hold interest, but long enough to cover the subject. In its simplest form it has three parts: 1) in the opening, the best man thanks the appropriate people and calls attention to how lovely the bride looks; 2) in the middle, he may tell a short anecdote; 3) and to close, he makes a fond blessing for the couple's new life together. A very nervous best man may cut out the middle part altogether. Thank the parents of the bride and groom, smile and tell the bride she looks lovely, wish them the best of times for all their days and sit down. Completely respectable. But a daring best man with a strong voice will quote Auden, Frost, Shakespeare, or even the bible if the room is right, and draw a quick comparison between, say, the couple's happiness and a summer's day. It's an art form. It really is.
	Nowadays, many brides-to-be cringe at the very thought of the obligatory bachelor's party. What is the purpose of today's bachelor party, and why should the women not be so worried?
	Given society's association with the term, it's difficult to put a positive spin on a bachelor party. It's equal parts of tradition and male bonding. The guys want to host a party in the groom's honor. It recognizes a man achieving another milestone in his adult life. There are always going to be extreme views for and against. Ultimately it's a personal decision involving the bride and groom. There's always the option of the very staid bachelor parties which center around sporting events or weekend fishing expeditions and the like.

   Bliss!™ constantly receives inquiries from best men for any insights on how to put together a great toast to the bride and groom. Courtesy of TheBestMan.Com, Bliss!™ presents "The Wedding Toast Generator" which provides an easy formula to building a great toast.

   We thank Scott Miller for sharing his insights with us and the future best men of the world.

SOURCES:

TheBestMan.Com
http://www.thebestman.com

The Wedding Toast Generator
http://www.blissezine.com/library/toast_generator.asp

UnGroom'd
http://www.ungroomd.com